Good morning, Father.
I sit here with my coffee, the house quiet, and my mind is a jumble of thanks and friction. I want to start by just saying thank you. For everything you’ve done, and for everything you do for me today. The list feels mundane, but maybe that’s where the sacred hides.
Thank you for my family. For their presence, even when it annoys me. I know the feeling is mutual. They probably look at me sometimes and wonder what planet I’m from. I pray they forgive me for any frustration I cause. I ask you to forgive me for my own annoyance, for the times I am blind to their love because it doesn’t arrive in the package I ordered. Help me see their efforts as gifts, not critiques.
Thank you for Wiggles. For letting me be the one to provide for her, to keep her safe. It’s a simple duty, but it anchors me.
Thank you for this home. For the electricity humming in the walls, the water from the tap, the food in the kitchen, this coffee in my cup. For the internet that connects me to a world of ideas and people. Help me remember these are provisions from your hand, not rights from my world. Don’t let these good gifts become the very things that crowd you out. Don’t let the comfort they provide make me forget the Comforter.
And thank you, seriously, for the new walking shoes. They’re comfortable. I like how they look. Yes, I care about that, too.
And to you, Jesus. My Lord and Savior. I don’t even know where to start.
You came. You endured. You taught. You showed us the way. You were mocked, tortured, humiliated. You knew it was coming. Every step toward Jerusalem, you knew. But you loved the Father so much. You loved us so much. You walked right into it, eyes open, for the joy set before you.
Because of you, the Holy Spirit lives in me. This cracked vessel carries the presence of the Living God. He’s with me now, as I write this, as I try to stay on the narrow path you carved. “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV). You never said it would be easy. You said it would be worth it.
Because of you, I’ve sidestepped landmines. I haven’t self-destructed. My soul is not destined for the enemy’s camp. I am eternally grateful.
Father, I have to confess. I have idolized other gods. I have fallen into the world’s traps. I have praised objects, symbols, bowed before counterfeits. I have participated in rituals that had nothing to do with you. I confess these sins to you now. I repent. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV). Bring any forgotten sin to my mind. I don’t want to repeat it.
I know you forgive me. Thank you for that grace. It still astonishes me.
I declare I am your humble servant. In my words, in my heart. Help me live it out in my actions. Today.
Which brings me to a prickly thought.
“Help” is a tricky thing. I’m feeling annoyed because people close to me are helping in ways that make them feel helpful, not in ways that are actually helpful to me.
And it’s making me look in the mirror.
Where am I doing the same thing?
Where is my “help” more about my own need to feel useful than about what the other person actually needs? I think of your words, Jesus: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (John 13:14-15 ESV). You didn’t help according to your own preference. You helped according to the actual, dirty, humble need.
So, Father, how do you want me to spend this new day you’ve given me?
I would like to fast.
I would like to read the book of Revelation.
I would like to go to the store, but that conflicts with fasting.
I would like to walk the dog, but my body is tired.
The wants are there. The spirit is willing. The flesh is weak and distracted. Lead me. Show me the next right thing. The actually helpful thing for my spirit, for my family, for whoever you put in my path today.
Let my help be true help. Let my thanks be true worship. Let this ordinary day be a walking of the narrow, grace-lit path.
I thought this message by brother Andrew also complimented what I was feeling during morning prayer today. Check it out using the link below. 👇🏿👇🏿👍🏿👍🏿🙏🏿✝🕊
That is all, and thank you for reading.
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Shashue Monrauch
I love your raw honesty. It is so rare these days, but it lets me know I'm not alone. I appreciate that. Your sincere Christian faith is contagious. I often tell people that I am a disciple of Jesus who walks with a distinct limp. I'm glad I'm not alone!