The air this morning was a damp wool blanket, almost like an August in South Florida sort of damp. Wiggles, my five-year-old Cane Corso, leaned her full weight against my leg, her morning insistence a physical command. We walked. Not the walk of a man with a dog, but the slow, deliberate procession of two creatures bound by a shared, silent understanding. Her pace, a powerful but patient plod, dictated mine. In that forced slowness to accomadate for the heat, the mind has nowhere to rush. It unspools. It wanders from the cracked sidewalk to the cracks in everything.
And my mind wandered, as it often does, to Paul. To his thorn. The Holy Spirit often uses Paul to speak to me. I think it’s said he’s authored much of the new testament. Perhaps this is why. But I also think of Paul’s kairo’s moment. We have that in common.
But my thoughts this morning during today’s walk weren’t grand or theological. They were practical, almost mechanical. I was thinking about the fit. Why was Paul’s thorn, whatever mysterious agony it was, perfect for him? Not a generic suffering. Not a random affliction. It was a tailored weight. A custom-made vulnerability. And if that was true for him, then what about mine? What about yours?
The single mother who has birthed five children and now fights to feed them, her strength is a ferocious, enduring love. It is different from the strength of the soldier who endured BUDS or Ranger School, a strength of will honed to a razor’s edge, a body and mind pushed past breaking. That strength is different from the coach of the little league team, whose strength is patience, encouragement, the long view of shaping character in small, squirrely humans. And that is different from the long-distance truck driver, whose strength is solitary endurance, the monotony of the white line, the stewardship of a rig through the night.
We are built differently. Our wiring is unique. The very things that make us capable in one arena are the vulnerabilities in another. The soldier’s disciplined focus might crumble in the chaotic emotional needs of a household. The mother’s boundless nurturing might feel crushed under the weight of a spreadsheet’s cold logic. We are not generic units. We are specific souls, with specific blueprints.
And so, I believe, are our thorns.
Paul’s thorn was not a punishment. It was a precision tool. He had been given “surpassing greatness” in revelations, visions so intense they could have launched him into a spiritual stratosphere of pride. He was given a glimpse of paradise, of things too sacred to utter. The potential for conceit, for a ministry built on his own spiritual celebrity, was catastrophic. So he was given a counter-weight. “A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited” (2 Corinthians 12:7 ESV).
The thing that felt like an attack from the enemy was, in the sovereign hands of God, a safeguard. The very pain that seemed designed to ruin him was, in fact, saving him from himself. His weakness was the anchor tied to the balloon of his revelation. It kept him grounded, reachable, usable.
Now, consider the fit. What if Paul’s thorn had been a stutter? He was a speaker, a debater, a letter-writer of formidable skill. A stutter would have been a profound humiliation, a genuine hindrance. But would it have specifically targeted the pride born of supernatural vision? Perhaps not directly. What if it had been poverty? He knew hunger and need. But poverty can breed a different kind of pride, a pride in austerity, in being “untainted” by the world.
No, his thorn had to be something that attacked the specific point of his greatest potential downfall: spiritual arrogance. It had to be a weakness that made his incredible spiritual strength irrelevant, that leveled him in a way no human opponent could. It had to be a chronic, humiliating, persistent reminder that he was not the source of the power flowing through him.
This is the first clue: Is our thorns are often custom-fitted to our specific, most dangerous form of pride?
The mother of five might not be tempted by spiritual arrogance. Her pride might be in her self-sufficiency. “I can handle this. I don’t need anyone.” Her thorn might be a child with a chronic illness, a need so vast and relentless it shatters the myth of her own capability. It forces her to ask for help, to rely on a church, a neighbor, to finally fall to her knees and admit she is not enough. The thorn attacks the idol of “I can do it all.”
The soldier, forged in extreme self-reliance, might find his thorn in a PTSD that dismantles his sense of control. The very mind he trained to be a weapon turns on him in the quiet. It forces him into vulnerability, into therapy, into admitting he is broken. It attacks the idol of invincibility.
The coach, whose pride is in his winning record, his ability to mold champions, might have a thorn in a child on his team who has no talent, who tries hard but fails constantly. This child becomes a living sermon against the coach’s idol of performance and results, teaching him a love that isn’t contingent on victory.
The truck driver, proud of his independence, his lone-wolf journey, might have a thorn in a financial ruin that leaves him stranded, dependent on the kindness of strangers at a truck stop, having to call home for help. It attacks the idol of solitary strength.
The thorn is not random. It is surgical. It is the precise instrument God uses to perform the one operation we would never consent to: the removal of the thing we trust in more than Him.
This leads to the second, harder point. We often have a theory about how God should operate. We think, “I must exhaust myself first. I must try everything, use all my strength, hit absolute rock bottom. Then, and only then, when I have nothing left, will He step in.” We imagine a divine fast-forward button. If we could just rush to the point of total exhaustion, then He would take the wheel.
In my experience, this is not how He works. This thinking is still rooted in a ledger, in a transaction. It says, “My exhaustion purchases Your intervention.” But grace is not a transaction. It is a presence.
God’s refusal to remove Paul’s thorn was not because Paul hadn’t suffered enough. It was because the thorn itself was the mechanism of grace. The grace was in the thorn. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV). The power of Christ finds its perfect expression, its completed work, not after the weakness, but in it. The weakness is not the obstacle to His power; it is the conduit.
The mother doesn’t get strength after she breaks down. The strength of Christ is made perfect in her daily feeling of being overwhelmed. The soldier doesn’t find peace after he “fixes” his mind. The peace of Christ rests upon him in the panic attack. The thorn is the socket. Our admitted weakness is the plug. His power is the current.
There is no fast-forward to exhaustion because the journey through the weakness is the point. The daily “I can’t” is the very space where “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 ESV) becomes a lived reality, not a platitude. We want Him to drive the car so we can relax in the passenger seat. He often says, “I will be the fuel, the road, and the strength in your legs as you push it.”
This is the brutal, beautiful reversal. Our culture, our own flesh, screams that strength is the absence of weakness. God’s economy declares that His strength is made visible through the presence of weakness. The world points to the healed limb and says, “See God’s power.” God often points to the man with the withered hand and says, “Watch what I do with this.” The strength is in the bearing, not the removing.
This is why Paul’s final move is so shocking. He doesn’t just endure. He doesn’t just tolerate his thorn. He boasts in it. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV). He takes the very thing he begged God to remove, the source of his shame, his limitation, his humiliation, and he holds it up. “Look at this! This is where Christ lives in me. This is the proof.”
He is not boasting in spite of his weakness. He is boasting because of it. The weakness is the evidence of the indwelling power. If he were strong, capable, victorious in his own right, who would need to look for Christ in him? But in his obvious lack, the surplus of Christ becomes undeniable.
This is the secret for us. The single mother, exhausted, showing up at the food pantry, that is not a portrait of failure. That is a canvas where the provision of Christ is about to be displayed. The soldier, shaking in a therapist’s office, admitting he is afraid, that is not the end of courage. It is the ground where true courage, a courage not his own, is planted. The coach, loving the un-athletic child, the truck driver accepting help, these are not defeats. They are the open doors for a different kind of strength to walk in.
Our thorns are different because our prides are different. Our paths to the end of ourselves are custom-cut. But the destination is the same: the foot of the throne where we finally trade in our clenched fist for His nail-scarred hand. His hand does not always remove the thorn. It closes over ours as we hold it. And in that grasp, the thorn loses its power to define us. It becomes simply the place where we feel His grip the tightest.
Wiggles nudged my hand, bringing me back to the sidewalk, to the humid air, to the now. I looked down at her, this powerful animal walking with such deliberate slowness beside me. Her strength is not mine. My thorns are not hers. But in our walking, in our shared, slow persistence, there is a fellowship. A recognition.
The walk home is the point. The thorn is part of the road. And His grace is sufficient. Not for the road you wish you were on, but for the one you are actually walking, with your specific weights, your unique weariness, your custom-made weakness. It is fitted to you. Because He knows you. And He is making His power perfect right there, in the exact place you feel you have none.
That is all, and thank you for reading.
If you enjoy Faith In The Fast Lane, I would be incredibly grateful for your support. Consider using one or more of the links below.
You can also find me on other social media platforms using the below links.
On X (formerly Twitter) : Shashue Monrauch on X
On YouTube: Shashue Monrauch on YouTube
On Instagram: Shashue Monrauch on IG
On NOSTR:
Monrauch npub1xkzvafzxlpssafrzpt2vt24wrlv4n77gzxvw84fnkwn6kz23h0hsa23u7m
Shashue npub1ldn7g28j6rc49gmmyh2yk4z8y688hhuuzgs2v5q2erz784cegshs6427d0
Thanks for your time and support.
Shashue Monrauch